Hello nerds!

Judging by the excitement over the leaks at HBO and what it means for fans of Game of Thrones,  how did this slip under the radar for so long? Way back in 2016, the plot for the entire seventh season leaked online Reddit. Thanks to user awayforthelads for doing the dirty work and putting all the pieces together. 

Now, I know you're likely wondering how trustworthy an anonymous source can be, but given the precise accuracy of the details they provided for the episodes we've seen so far, I think they're 100% correct. Seriously, the descriptions are spot on. I think we're looking at a full blown ass-kicking, BAMF of a season ending run. Be warned, it's going to get nuts. 

Episode 4

  • Arya arrives at Winterfell.
  • Arya and Brienne spar.
  • The Dothraki and Dany attack the Lannister army on their way back from the Reach. Jamie and Bron are both there. Despite the Lannister army having a giant anti-dragon spear gun designed by Qyburn, they are defeated. Bron saves Jamie from a dragon, and the two manage to escape. Jon remains at Dragonstone during this battle, as he is not aligned with her yet. 
  • Jon and Theon meet, Jon telling Theon that if it wasn't for what he did for Sansa, he'd be dead. (Jon and Theon will meet at Dragonstone).
  • Jon isn't afraid of Drogon and pets him on Dany's return from the battle, which Drogon allows. This surprises Dany. Episode 4 or 5.
  • After Dany's attack on the Lannisters, Jon realises that what he needs to do is provide proof of the Undead Army. Episode 4 or 5.

 
Episode 5

  • Sam leaves Oldtown for Winterfell with Gilly and baby Sam.
  • Jorah reunites with Dany at Dragonstone.
  • Jon receives a raven telling him that Bran and Arya are at Winterfell.
  • Jaime, Bronn, Tyrion and Davos have a secret meeting at some point where Tyrion tries to persuade them to surrender to Dany, which Jamie ignores. Unclear if this happens before or after Dany ambushes the Lannister army. 
  • Gendry is in King's Landing making weapons, and he is found by Davos.

 
Episode 6

  • The party arrives at Eastwatch-by-the-Sea by boat (though it's likely they leave Dragonstone. Tormund is there, with The Hound, Beric and Thoros in the dungeon. Davos stays behind while Jon takes The Hound, Beric, Thoros, Tormund, Jorah and Gendry wight hunting. (Dany and Tyrion say farewell to Jorah, Jon, Davos and Gendry as they load onto a boat).
  • The team is attacked by the Night King's army, including a Wight polar bear. The bear kills Thoros (apparently a slow death). (Jon, Gendry, Thoros, Sandor, Tormund, Jorah and Benjen have been spotted in locations confirmed for scenes beyond the wall).
  • They are surrounded on an island on a frozen lake and are nearly overcome when Dany and her dragons show up. She flies most of the team back to Eastwatch, but Jon is left behind. 
  • Jon is almost killed, but Coldhands/Benjen arrives and sends Jon off with his horse while continuing to fight the horde. Jon watches Benjen swarmed by undead as he rides, half dead, to safety.
  • Viserion is killed and raised as the Night King's mount.
  • Jon offers to lay down his title as KITN if Dany and her forces will help against the WWs. This scene is private.

 
Episode 7

  • Sansa sentences Littlefinger to death, which Arya carries out.
  • Meeting at the dragonpit with basically everyone. They demonstrate the reality of the white walkers and it terrifies Cersei (apparently the Mountain [or the Hound] chops up the wight and it keeps moving, Jon shows them the only way to kill it is with dragonglass or fire). She tells them she will send forces to help defeat the undead, but admits to Jamie she was lying. She wants the undead to clear out as many of her enemies as possible. Disgusted, Jamie begins to ride North.
  • Tyrion takes a moment to talk to Cersei alone after the Dragonpit parlay.
  • Cersei awakens in a bed soaked with blood. The general consensus is that she miscarries.
  • Sam and Bran figure out Jon's heritage. He is apparently a legitimised Targaryen named "Aegon".
  • Jon and Dany have sex for the first time on a boat headed North.
  • The Wall falls at the end of the episode. The Night King attacks the Wall with the reanimated Viserion. He now breathes blue flame.

 
Uncertain chronologically:

  • Cersei believes she is pregnant again with Jamie's child. She has Qyburn examine her. Cersei does not hesitate in telling Jamie. 
  • Dany torches some Westerosi lords (including Sam's father and brother).
  • Jamie returns to King's Landing in time for the dragonpit meeting.
  • Jorah doesn't care for Jon initially, but they warm up to each other pretty quickly. Includes a scene where Jon offers Longclaw back to Jorah, who refuses it.
  • Sam, Gilly and baby Sam leave Oldtown in episode 5 for Winterfell.
  • There will be a flashback scene to Rhaegar and Lyanna's wedding.
  • Littlefinger tries to play Arya and Sansa against each other, using the letter Sansa wrote to Robb (at the behest of Cersei and Littlefinger) to swear fealty to Joffrey. Sansa figures out she's being played with Bran's help.

DUUUUUUUUDDDEEEEE!!!!!!! A Wight Polar Bear? The return of Cold Hands! Fucking Ice Dragon! The Wall falls! Holy shit! Arya ices Littlefinger! You bring that good shit right on HBO. I'm ready for the visual delights and am sweaty with anticipation about how insane Season 8 will be. I'm sure we're in a well deserved ending to one of the greatest stories of our age. Regardless of whether GRR finishes The Winds of Winter, which he fucking won't. Ever. 

For those purists who have read the books and insist they're superior to the TV show, I say to you that no matter how great your imagination is, it will fucking utterly pale in comparison to what we'll see on our TV screens in a few weeks. Ice motherfucking dragon!